Hello again peeps,
After having a 2 week holiday, I’m all refreshed and ready to get back into the blogging routine! I’ve been to Cuba and I recently vlogged DAILY for the 2 weeks that I was away…I think this calls for a NEW YOUTUBE SERIES! Day one of the holiday vlogs includes me arriving and exploring havana, you can watch it here if ya fancy!
So I thought I’d take advantage of being on holiday and create a new blog post based on thoughts I’ve had around the pool. Let me know if you’ve come across any of these people and which one you are! I’m 100% honest in my posts and will admit to being a certain stereotype…
1.The Speedo Man
I couldn’t not start with this one right? There’s always one that takes it too far and may as well walk around naked. Unfortunately, it’s not an Abercrombie and Fitch model and never will be. It’s a man with 90% of his body covered in hair that could be plaited and a belly that looks 9 months pregnant. But not so pregnant that its hanging over & hiding down below, oh no. You can see it (& them) in all it’s/their glory.
It wouldn’t be a proper speedo man otherwise right? And I’m forgetting the bright colours. If you’re lucky (using lucky VERY lightly here), you’ll get a black pair. If you’re having a REALLY bad day, it’ll be yellow or even worse – white. We all know what happens when cheap white material gets wet..
2. The Poser
This one’s not a gender specific one. Girl or guy, you’ll always find one by the pool. Normally taking selfies, lying in a completely unnatural and uncomfortable way, flexing or wearing teeny tiny bikinis. Not hard to spot but so hard to stop watching them. It’s such an entertainment to watch the girls make sure every strand of hair is in the right place followed by a gust of wind or a splash of water. If you’re one of them, DONT EVER CHANGE IT’S AMUSING OK
3. The Couple
PDA is one thing that doesn’t sit well with me, and for some reason, being in a pool makes it ok to go to EXTREMES with affection. Probs because the girls are 10x lighter so the men can pick them up and feel manly about it. Sometimes I feel like I’ve gone to a weird show (you know the ones) and that they’re the performance in the middle of the pool. No thank u
4. The One Who Never Tans
This person is painfully white for the whole of the holiday. Sitting near them is always a good idea…you instantly feel more tanned and that you RULE THE TANNING WORLD. Just don’t ask if it’s their first day/just arrived… because more than likely, they’ve been there longer than you have.
5. The One Who REALLY Tans
The worshipper of the sun. Skin is usually looking a bit leathery but other than that, it leaves you bitterly jealous while you have a serious case of SULA during sunbathing. Their tan seems to be so even as well, no white bits. Which is seriously hard to do unless you really enjoy tanning your armpits.
WARNING* This can be easily fooled by the girls who head for a spray tan before holiday. You can usually tell if this is the case if…
The tans a funny colour and not matching everyone else’s shade
They arrived like it
They don’t get any darker
It is IMPECCABLY even
I see you.
6. The Bookworm
As a very slow reader, I’m always left in awe of those that can read 3/4 books a week. My mum being one of them. The holiday bookworm will be sat by the pool with a different book every few days. Little to no verbal communication occurs and they read at every opportunity.
Those that live life on the edge and read in the pool give me a heart attack. Which leads nicely onto…
7. The iPhone Addict
If I’m honest, if my hotel had good wifi this would probably be me. Social media is so hard to let go of that people often just take it with them. It’s the balance that needs to be right in my opinion. But something that definitely ISN’T me, is taking tablets into the pool.
My heart couldn’t take much more after a random day of constant photoshoots in the pool. How can someone feel comfortable hovering their iPhone just above the water to get the perfect pic… you could say I’m not a risk taker.
8. The SunBed Savers
No matter what time you get up, you will never beat these people. They’re masters at their own game and will always get their preferred spot. Admittedly, you will see in my holiday vlogs that I did the same thing, for one reason…to get the shade spots so we don’t all burn within an inch of our lives.
There’s rumours that this type wake up at 5am, put the towels down and head back to bed. That right there is commitment.
9. The Starer