Thank you for all the birthday wishes and letting me know I now have responsibilities as a 21 year old. And with all the busy birthday parties, I totally missed the 700 followers milestone and yesterday I just hit 800 (?!). Thank you so much all of you lovely lot, old and new followers. The support means a lot and I continue to grow as a blogger with all of your comments on my posts. Just knowing you enjoyed them is more than enough!
The more honest the post the more respect I get from you lot as followers (I think?)…or you’re all just pulling my leg making me post more and more embarrassing thoughts that I have DAILY.
This post is all about my envious thoughts on the people that, no matter what, will always have their overnight oats ready and waiting, or a green smoothie made within 5 seconds with no mess in a mason jar. Basically, healthy floggers (food bloggers) that really have their sh*t together. Here are my jealous thoughts when I see your posts…
*WARNING* This is not meant to offend anyone, I’m just bitter with jealousy that people this healthy exist.
1.”Won’t they be hungry?”
As a girl who loves her hearty meals, the first thing I notice is the lack of food on their plates. Surely there’s too much white space there…no? No. It’s probably the perfect amount. And this just emphasises the fact that I should really cut down on my portion sizes. Does anyone else lose all sense of control when peeling potatoes or just constantly get measurements for pasta wrong!? …and secretly love it…?
2. “What the hell are flax seeds and why are they everywhere?!”
Flax seeds…one of the front runners in superfoods. As someone who’s not a health blogger as such, I’m constantly seeing flax seeds in pretty much EVERY foodie post. However, I’m yet to know what on earth they are. I know it’s probably a google search away, but then that means none of you lovely lot could tell me what they are…anyone know? anyone else…not know!? I’m such a noob.
3. “How did they get their breakfast to look so pretty?”
If I see one more pretty breakfast bowl that a healthy food blogger ‘just whipped up‘, I’m gonna cry. My breakfast never look so symmetrical and neat and perfect in every way. Is it a case of practise makes perfect? Cos if so, I have no patience for that. I’ll be eating it half way through dressing the bowl up. And, why so much purple too?! I want some purple yogurt for breakfast. It looks fun.
4. “But where’s the carbs?”
As a carboholic, admitted in my Thoughts of a Carboholic post, carbs are the star of the show for me. A dinner without carbs doesn’t sit well with me. I’ll leave them out occasionally if I’ve had a particularly naughty day.
But looking at all these health bloggers constantly replace carbs with a handful of pumpkin seeds makes me sad! What have they ever done to you? Oh yeah. Love handles.
I sometimes wonder if they take the pretty, filtered picture before adding the carbs to look healthy and then add on some mash afterwards. Not that I would do that…
5. “I wonder if they actually like all that kale”
9 times out of 10, the health bloggers choice of veg is the predictable, yet classic, kale. And it’s not a normal sized serving, it is a MOUNTAIN of kale. Mount Kaleomanjaro. (Lol I enjoyed that). I’m left thinking, “is it possible to like kale this much?” “is this what it takes to be a healthy food blogger?”
It was only until recently that I discovered I’d been eating and prepping kale all wrong. I say that as if I eat it all the time. I don’t. I had it once and HATED it. It was so bitter and dry, but that was because I didn’t “massage the kale” for a few minutes. Yeah. I giggled too. Who knew eating healthy was so confusing!?
6. “Jel of how not bored they are of chicken already”
I’m sure if it was socially acceptable, health bloggers would have chicken for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Or do they do that already? Oh no wait, the beloved breakfast bowl would be sacrificed!
Occasionally I see chicken stuffed with stuff, or marinated in stuff, or drizzled with stuff. But mostly, I’ll just see plain chicken, as all the added extras means more calories. Is that not a bit like “ugh I could be having mac n cheese right now“. Just me? cool.
7. “Where do they find all these cute overnight oat jars!?”
I have a feeling a lot of you are gonna say Target. And this just makes it worse! I live in the UK and am forever seeing Target hauls or blog posts mentioning Target for some cute bedroom deco or, as mentioned, MASON JARS. Normally with these blog posts come “you need to get down there and grab yourself on of these”…brb just hopping on a plane. Why do all good things come from the US and take at least 5 years to come over to the UK!
8. “Do they put avocado on anything?”
The weird green thing that was only ever used for guac. I’m certain it was forgotten about up to 3 years ago. But now it’s there every time I refresh my insta feed (lexilife95) it’s THERE. Whether sliced up all pretty and fanned out (obvs) or smashed on toast with a fork, it’ll be there.
Despite everyone adding it to every meal…I’m still not convinced on it. Anyone else not a fan?!
This has probably proven me to be rubbish at eating clean. I’ll be the first to admit that before any of you lot point it out!!
Is anyone else struggling to workout how these health bloggers do it?! Anyone else left feeling jealous of them after stalking their instagram/blog? Let me know in the comments where we can cry together…
Love Life, Lexi!
P.S For those of you who made it to the end of this blog post..I have a treat for you. I’ve recently gotten into Graze and I have a reward code for you! If you’ve always wanted to try healthier snacks, use my code and get your 1st, 5th and 10th graze boxes free! Take the plunge and see if you like it: http://www.graze.com/uk/p/KATYF7TZT